My natural childbirth experience, Part 3 of 3: Delivery

Dear Baby P,

It's just three days before your homecoming and we are all excited to be finally with you. I'm also very glad to see your strong appetite for my breast milk at the nursery of Capitol Medical Center yesterday that you latched strongly despite the bottle feeding you temporarily received from the nursery. I can't wait to visit you again today. I was able to pump 2 ounces of breast milk this morning and I'll bring it to you this afternoon.

In this post, I would like to share with you the toughest and yet the best part of my childbirth experience wherein your Papa and I finally welcomed you into the world. 

A continuation of my previous post on induced labor:

At 8 PM, the tenth hour of my labor, I got transferred to the delivery section of the labor ward. I was blanket carried by two male nurses from my labor bed to a delivery bed. I wanted the backrest of my delivery bed to be adjusted at almost a 90-degree angle but the most it could have was more or less 45 degrees. I had to place my calves on the stirrups too which I didn't like so much but there was nowhere else I could land my heels on because the delivery bed was very short in width. With the setup I was in, I knew I'd be having a hard time letting you out because I wasn't 100% in sync with gravity.

On the delivery bed, ready for pushing

Doc gave me a window of 2 hours for the whole pushing stage, and told the resident doctors to allow me to push at my own pace since they were dealing with a patient without epidural who could thus feel her urge to push. At the start of my pushing, your fetal descent was in between stations 0 and +1. At first, I kept on pushing with sustained breathing, and with my calves resting on the stirrups. After several tries without much progress on your descent, Doc had me raise my legs so that my heels would step on the stirrups instead of my calves resting on them. It was very exhausting because although it opened my legs more, it made the pain in my pelvic area and thighs more intense that I had to rest my calves back on the stirrups again after every contraction. In the process, my raising and then lowering of my legs just to change position before and after pushing during contractions seemed to have consumed most of my energy that could have been used instead for pushing alone.

An hour later, I could no longer tell if my contractions were starting again because even though my uterus was relaxed whenever a contraction subsided, the pain didn't go away anymore because your head had already been fully in touch with my pelvic area. The resident doctors had to touch my abdomen to tell me that my contractions were already starting, and they themselves would have to raise my legs for me to step on the stirrups because I could no longer lift them myself. I couldn't keep myself silent or at least poised anymore as I pushed. Everyone with me, including your Papa, told me that I had been wasting extra energy with every noise I produced. But I really couldn't help it! I was able to push silently every other contraction though, but releasing some noise once in a while somehow made me feel better.

Doc had been telling me that I was doing good in pushing as she saw (and as I felt) my muscles down there respond, but told me I needed to try harder because my perineum was too thick and seemed to block your head from descending farther. I swear I had been pushing at my maximum strength that I could feel my hemorrhoids bursting out. I told her that I wanted to push in a sitting position so I asked for a birthing stool because I felt like it would be easier for you to descend that way. Unfortunately, the delivery bed was all the hospital had for pushing. I believed sitting could have made me less uncomfortable, compared to leaning on my back in the delivery bed which further aggravated the pain on my lower back or pelvic area. In the beginning of my pushing I had been holding your Papa's hand on my left and a nurse's on my right, and for every contraction and push I squeezed their hands very hard that I almost crushed them. I begged your Papa and the nurses to never let go of my hands. If they needed to take a leak or a water break I demanded substitutes for them. Holding someone's (or even anyone's) hand was the most I could have to strengthen myself since my favored sitting position while pushing was no longer possible for me.

At thirty minutes before the end of my 2-hour window for pushing, your descent had only gone from in between stations 0 and +1, to station +1. I was getting frustrated with myself because as Doc had observed, my perineum was too thick that it became hard for you to pass through. But Doc assured me that you were cooperating with us because with every push I did, your fetal heart rate came up a bit which meant you were actively trying to move out too. Doc warned me for a possible episiotomy and I stubbornly refused. I asked Doc what would happen if you were still not out past the 2-hour window. She said she could extend to another thirty minutes or even more unless your fetal heart rate would suddenly destabilize wherein we would resort to a c-section! I cried out “No!” and I suddenly had renewed willpower to push. I would rather have my perineum incised than to have a c-section. The nurses suggested that I push wherein I'd deeply inhale and then hold my breath for as long as I could, instead of my technique of sustained breathing. I wasn't in favor of their suggestion, because I might suddenly pull you back in if I suddenly tried to catch my breath, but I gave their suggestion a try. I suddenly transformed from an occasionally noisy birthing woman stereotyped in the movies, into an angry amazon woman. Your Papa and the nurses told me to try my best to be silent, but I couldn't do that while holding my breath for very long! It seemed like all the breathing and relaxation techniques that we learned from our Lamaze class had been thrown out of the window.

At 10 PM, Doc decided to help me let you out. She started putting on her surgical gown and then asked the nurse to prepare the CordLife cord blood collection kit. Your Papa cheered me on in an exciting tone and told me that you're on your way very soon. He gave me encouraging words to do my best in my final pushes and that it would all be over in just a few minutes. Doc told me to push very hard as she would be injecting local anesthesia on my perineum for my episiotomy. So I pushed as hard as I could and didn't feel the needle on my perineum at all since my contraction pains were the most dominant. In the next push, I hardly felt any pain when Doc did the incision. Doc had some resident doctors ready to push down my abdomen, and Doc asked me to push harder than the hardest I could. As I did my first push after the incision, I felt like losing my breath because the resident doctors were pressing hard against my abdomen with all their might while I was holding my breath at the same time. Your Papa's voice became the most dominant in the room as he screamed the word “Push!” many times. Apparently, he was the most tensed and excited individual in the room. You had not come out yet though. I was provided first with a nasal oxygen tube before I could resume.

It was in the final two or three pushes when Doc and the nurses were saying “Ayan na!” and then Doc told me to stop pushing already. It was 10:10 PM, and my first instinct was to lift my hospital gown for our first ever skin contact and for your first latch. Your Papa and I were in tears.

First skin contact

With Papa

First latch

Your Papa and I were so much into you that I forgot all about delivering the placenta. I only remembered it when I felt something come out from me as Doc pulled it. We requested to have the placenta packed so we could take it home. We also forgot that your Papa was supposed to cut the umbilical cord too and we remembered it just now! Doc was however able to collect enough cord blood from your umbilical cord, and it was safely stored in the blood bag of our CordLife collection kit.

The placenta

After a few minutes of our first bonding, you were taken by the resident pediatricians for some suctioning and cleaning. They then swaddled you and brought you back to me for some more photo-ops.

After Baby P's cleaning

As they took you to the nursery, I fell asleep and underwent perineal repair. I woke up after an hour and on my way to the recovery room, I was greeted by your Papa, Mommy, Daddy, Mama Yin, Tita Vicky, Tito Boy, Ate Che, Kuya Bien and Kuya Iggi. They were all smiles at me as they had just seen you for the first time in the nursery.

Baby P with Doc Meneses in the nursery

Part 1 post: Pre-labor

Part 2 post: Induced labor

Thank you Che, Ate Yin, Ate Vicky for bringing in food for Pol, and all other things we forgot to bring in the delivery room. Kung alam niyo lang, sinisigaw ko ang mga pangalan niyo pati ni Mama at Mommy! :)

Thank you Doc Meneses, my resident docs and nurses for the strong support group. Despite my temptation to call for pain relief, your encouraging words made me realize that I already came too far to give up.

Thank you to Ms. Rome Kanapi, our Lamaze instructor, who helped enlighten us about natural childbirth. Although I was not able to be fully relaxed during labor as how our class taught us, I was at least able to stay strong and embrace the "pain" that wouldn't last forever. "Nothing lasts forever, even labor!" :)

Thank you Papa P for staying by my side and coaching me all the way. You starved for a whole day, massaged my back for many hours, and even got more stressed because of my mood swings during labor. But you kept telling me that it would all be worth it.

Thank you Baby P for cooperating during labor! Your heartbeat stayed normal despite na nahirapan kang makadaan because of my perineal blocking. Mis na mis ka na namin and sana makauwi ka na with us.

Thank you Mommy, Daddy, Mama and Ate Yin for the post-natal care and advice. Kinakalimutan ko na lang itong bagay na ito but you kept reminding me how important it is to take care of myself first.

Finally, thank You Lord for helping us get through the toughest of times and for giving me a strong support system through my family! :)