The Baby News

Dear Baby P,

August 30, 2011. This was the day I learned about God's greatest blessing to me and your Papa.

I had been feeling nauseous in the past few days during the last week of August, and noticed that I urinated too frequently that I ran to the toilet every 15 minutes. I almost forgot that I had missed my menstrual period since April, but I didn't worry about that part because I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). It's not surprising for me anymore to miss my period for three months.

When your Mommy called my name for mealtime, I told her I couldn't eat because I strongly felt like throwing up. At first I thought it was related to a diarrhea infection I had in mid-August after eating oyster in Boracay (I was with your Mommy), that I had to be confined in the hospital when we arrived in Manila. I remember Tito Boy (your Mommy's eldest brother) treated us to a sushi buffet, and I was not able to enjoy it because of my nausea. Your Mommy was indirectly suspecting that my nausea might be something else already, but I denied it because I really believed it was connected to my past infection.

But what made me secretly think about your Mommy's suspicion was my frequent urination and the fact that I have not had my period for five months since April, although I faintly remember that I had very light spotting in June for at most three days. I searched for information online about the symptoms of pregnancy, and that was the first time I learned that frequent urination is indeed a symptom. I sent a text message to your Papa about it, and I tried using over-the-counter pregnancy tests. I tested three times, using different brands.

The first p-test showed two lines (indicating positive result), but they were not of the same color intensity. One of the two lines was dark red, while the other was pinkish. I had to try again. It was within the same day in August 29 when your Papa bought a more expensive one. It showed two lines again but they were broken lines instead of solid. Your Papa was not completely convinced that I was pregnant, but I still wanted to confirm because of the symptoms I was having. We decided to try again the next day because I learned that it was best to test in the morning for more accurate results. And if we must, we would visit the doctor.

On that night of uncertainty, your Papa and I were exchanging text messages about how worried I was. Before we went to sleep, your Papa told me in his last text message that I not worry too much, and that what ever may happen, he would be there for me and you. His last sentence was “Love you both!”

August 30 was a Tuesday and a non-working holiday, being the End of Ramadan. I told your Mommy and Daddy that morning that I'd be going to the doctor to have my “stomach ache” checked, when it was really about my nausea. I told them that your Papa would be with me so they wouldn't have to take me to the clinic themselves. When I and your Papa met at our meeting place in SM North, we immediately bought another p-test, this time asking the pharmacist for her suggested brand. We took her suggestion, and when I used it, it finally showed two solid red lines. I told your Papa that this time, it was clearly positive. Your Papa's reaction was a nervous smile while beating his chest. He admitted he felt different that day. We didn't waste time and we decided to see a doctor in Healthway clinic.

I went inside the obstetrician-gynecologist's room alone. I told the OB about my suspicion of being pregnant and showed her my p-test result. My manner of telling her about it was very calm, and void of any emotion. But the doctor's response was in a delighted tone, and she congratulated me. She asked me to lie down on her examination bed to try to hear your heartbeat, using her Doppler device. However, she couldn't hear anything yet, and thought you were still too small inside my tummy. And then she performed pap smear on me, to test for any infections. After that, she asked for my partner to join us in the consultation, and your Papa entered the room. The doctor was convinced that I was really pregnant.

I was glad that your Papa was with me to listen to the doctor, because he is more keen on asking questions and I was a bit in shock to process too many words that I was hearing. It was good to know that our doctor lives nearby and has another clinic in NeoMedica, which is nearer our house. She made a referral note for urinalysis, CBC (complete blood count), ultrasound to check on your condition, and prescribed me with folic acid for your early brain development and for prevention of neural tube defects. Your Papa and the doctor were both enthusiastic, while I was still in shock. After the consultation, your Papa and I thought of heading straight to NeoMedica as the doctor suggested, because of their more affordable laboratory services and same-day releasing of results.

Your Papa and I had lunch first, and that was when we started talking about how I would tell your Mommy and Daddy about my pregnancy. Your Papa was very supportive. He relieved me of all worries and fear on how your Mommy and Daddy would react. We were preparing ourselves on what plans we would be having. Your Papa wanted to marry me to make you a legitimate child. I was disappointed in myself because my pregnancy happened before the marriage. I was only 23, while your Papa was already 29. I was still undecided about a lot of things, but I was really determined to tell your Mommy and Daddy about it right away after we get the ultrasound result, because I know in my heart that your Papa is a very responsible man, and that he would make a great husband and father. He was more thrilled than nervous.

Time was running and in an hour or less, I would be telling Mommy and Daddy about you and me. Your Papa and I went to NeoMedica for my first ultrasound. In the ultrasound room, there was a flat screen TV in front of me where I can see what the sonographic device is probing. The sonologist showed me the little speck in my uterus, and said to me, “That is your baby”. She showed me how your heart beat. You were so small like a seed, and you were flickering because of the beating of your heart. But your flicker was not fast enough, which meant that your fetal heart rate was low. I got the results and your very first picture in minutes, and the results suggested that I retake another ultrasound to check again for any improvement on your heart rate.

Your first ever photo

Everything was accomplished and confirmed on that day, and all that was left to do was to tell Mommy and Daddy the news. Your Papa and I were just a few steps away from our house when we saw your Daddy washing his car. He greeted us with enthusiasm, telling us what that he had not washed his car for a long time. Your Papa and I went inside the house first to see if your Mommy was home, and she was. That was when I started calling Daddy to come inside first because your Papa and I wanted to tell him and Mommy something.

Your Daddy was hesitant at first because he was busy with the car, and asked me to just tell him right away while he was outside. But I insisted that he come inside the house because I wanted him, Mommy and I to be gathered in one place. I saw how Daddy's enthusiasm changed into a worried face.

Mommy, Daddy and I were in their bedroom while your Papa was in the living room. I couldn't hold my tears after telling them that your Papa and I went to the doctor to confirm that I was pregnant, and that I was sorry. Mommy and Daddy were silent. Mommy's reaction was shock, while Daddy was calm. The first who finally talked was Daddy. He said that his concern right that moment was my health and my new job (my employment date was just going to start on September 5).

Your Mommy and Daddy have always been concerned about my health ever since. I always lacked sleep because of my previous work where I stayed for three years. I was prone to sickness too often as my immune system weakened from stress and lack of sleep, I was prone to iron-deficiency anemia and UTI (urinary tract infection) at a young age, and I had just been confined due to a gastrointestinal problem. They were also worried about how my new employer would deal with my unexpected pregnancy on the first day of my employment. And while I was crying, your Daddy told me not to stress myself too much about it because it would affect your condition too. I was crying because I was ashamed of how other people, especially our neighbors, would think about Mommy and Daddy's daughter. But your Daddy assured me not to worry about it because it did not matter. He said that you, our baby, were a blessing, and that it was a good thing that I have finished my studies and that I would be having a stable job.

Daddy next talked to your Papa to ask him about what we were planning to do. Your Papa was smiling as he told Daddy about our plan to get married. We figured to get married in October, as that would be the time when your Papa's family in Bicol would visit Manila. I was still in tears because I was touched about how Daddy reacted. So he kept telling me to stop crying and to mainly focus on my health.

If you're wondering about your Mommy, it was natural for her to stay quiet while Daddy was doing the talking. Mommy just asked me a few questions when it was just the two of us who could hear each other in the house. She was hoping that it did not happen too soon until I reach at least 25. And then she just asked me to really take care of my health this time. Both your Mommy and Daddy emphasized on my sleeping habits. When I confined myself in my room to reflect on everything that just happened, Daddy knocked and had to tell me again not to worry about other people's judgments and to focus on my health and yours. I was glad to hear again from him that we should see you as a blessing from God.

I heard your Mommy and Daddy in the other room talking, but I could not hear the words. I knew they were discussing their opinions about your Papa, and I was confident that they did not have anything negative to say about him because he is matured enough to take a new role and responsibility as a husband and father. Maybe they were also contemplating on my age which was relatively young. I also know that they were wondering where I would decide to live when your Papa and I get married, and probably discussing on how they would prepare themselves upon my decision. But I can assure you that they were not angry at all. Your Mommy told me that she and Daddy even looked back to the time they got married, where they were at their thirties. It seemed that they really do welcome you as their first grandchild.

I could not believe that everything that just happened on that day turned out wonderful. The only worry that you and your Papa had was your low fetal heart rate and my urinalysis results which seemed to indicate another UTI. Your Papa was the happiest person on that day that he called your Mama Yin as soon as he went home, and he shared with me how happy our whole family in Bicol was when he broke the news. They had long been wanting your Papa to get married ever since, and for them you were a blessing that finally came after many years of waiting. Your Mommy and Daddy were simply very understanding and supportive. We had no problems at all with our families, so I would not have to worry about not having a support group. All I needed to do was take care of the two of us, to help raise your fetal heart rate up, and to thank God for blessing me with a loving family, a wonderful partner like your Papa, and a precious child that I could not believe I would ever have.

While I was still hesitant to break the news outside our families, your Papa could not contain it any longer. Just to prove again how excited your Papa was that he couldn't sleep, he tweeted this : “April 27, 2012! :)”. He was trying to make this tweet mysterious so as not to break the news outright. That was your estimated due date from the initial ultrasound result.

Your Papa and I liked the due date very much because it's connected to your Papa's birthday and mine. Your Papa's birth date is April 9, while mine is December 27. When you combine these dates, they become April 27, showing your Papa's birth month and my birth day, where 27 can also be a 9 (7 + 2), which is your Papa's birth day. While the 12 in 2012 is my birth month. It really seemed that you really were destined to come into our lives at just the right time! God is already amazing, and He even proved to be never too early and never too late, but always on time.